Breaking Chains:

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Join me today with Courtney, a dynamic footballer, who has recently invited the entire world into her steps, allowing us to embrace a topical transformation within her life...

Breaking Chains:

"Do you know what it truly feels like to be alone, to have no-one to talk to about your feelings because you're scared they'll judge you? Well, that's how I used to feel every day. This is my story."

Courtney is a British, 16-year-old high school graduate. Despite all the changes happening in her adolescent years, one aspect, in particular, seems to have remained the same:

"Growing up as a kid, I knew I didn't like boys in an attractive way. I mean, I used to hang around with them-in fact, all my friends were mainly boys. They would talk about girls they fancy and I felt like I couldn't join in because I'm a girl."

"One day, my friend said to me, “She is sooo pretty! If I was older I would date her.”; I said in response to that, “Yes if I was a boy, I probably would too”.

"Now looking back, I'm embarrassed I even said that. I didn't even know at the time girls could be attracted to girls. Back then, all my friends and family used to joke about the LGBTU+ community, as if they weren't normal.  I now know different."

Some would say to Courtney that this was a "phase". However, it wasn't like these feelings dissipated, but rather grew alongside her and bloomed vibrantly..in her head at least:

"In high school, about year 9, I had these thoughts. I would look at an attractive girl and think “Wow, I wonder what it would be like to date her?”. In my head, I was denying the fact that I like girls. Ashamed, I cried myself to sleep because of the thought that I liked girls and how my family and friends would be so ashamed of me. I felt so alone, like I was the only person going through this and having these feelings. I didn't know ANYONE part of the LGBTU+ community so I had no one to relate to."

"The feeling of being alone was one of the worst feelings in my life. I felt that I was completely isolated from everyone else. I felt disgusting."

Courtney fed into society's (still current) intentions for the future of our generation-segregation. Coiling into self-depreciation and hiding in a shell of fragmentation, Courtney uncovered surprising deference, which cultivated her metamorphosis:

"At the end of year 9, I started to watch this lesbian YouTuber (Rose Ellen Dix). She would sit on the sofa with her wife and talk about their coming out stories and just their life in general. I thought to myself, "Wow, I would really love to be her”. They made me feel a bit more comfortable and less alone knowing that there are people like me living a normal, casual life.

"That night, I watched one of her videos and said to myself, “ I need to talk about this to someone. I can't keep hiding it.". Crying my eyes out, I plucked up the courage to message my best friend saying, “I think I'm bisexual”. I discarded this message five times before I sent it. She said in response, “What...as in you like girls?”. I said, “Yes, but I'm still not sure”.

Aggravating anticipation ate away at Courtney as she waited for her best friend's response. Like butterflies, a reassuring sense of hope fluttered inside of her as she received a perpetual text:

“I'm always here for you and will love you no matter what."

"A week after, she said to me, “Do you still think you're bi?” I lied and said, “No it was just hormones taking over ahah”. I was so embarrassed that I even told her."

Courtney was waiting for her unwelcomed roommate to move out, of which it would take extremely patient waiting for loneliness to finally pack its bags and disappear for good:

"7 months later, my best friend came out as bi. I was so happy knowing I wasn't alone and other people were like me. I then told her “I lied. I still think I'm bisexual, I was just too ashamed to admit it” She then said, “I know you are, I've always known” 

"Then in year 11, I came out to a few of my close friends and accidentally came out to my brothers. You can guess their reactions. Now I'm just getting completely friendly abuse from them and they're always making gay jokes. Then they told my mum and dad and the rest of my family. I haven't really talked to them about it yet, and I'm not planning on either. I then came out to everyone at my new and old school and they have all been so supportive."

It seems like a happily ever after moment and that this story should come to a close...but because we're living reality and not a fairytale, we still occasionally have to play cards with the devil. Through this suffrage though, Courtney has learnt a lot of life lessons and has some inciteful advice for all you readers:

"I'm now truly proud to be part of the LGBTQ community and know I'm truly not alone. But every so often, I get a sense of stress, like, if I was straight my life would be so much easier. Not having to come out and explain to everyone my sexuality. I feel as if a lot of people would prefer it if I was straight."

"But I would not change myself for anyone. And I will always love girls. Coming out has taught me a lot of things. One of the many things it has taught me is that no matter what, you will have to face complicated times in your life-and it's okay to not be okay. Since I have come out, a lot of people I know have told me about their sexuality. It inspires me knowing since I have come out that I've helped people feel comfortable, as they have told me about their sexuality. I can now help them seek acceptance.

"I'm now motivated to stand up for LGBTQ+ rights and help people accept who they are and support them. :)"

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